Burn Down the Mission, the Map's in Your Head
by JannP
Summary: She's never going to be attracted to a nice guy. She's going to be attracted to one who gets things done, apparently. She doesn't have to like what he does to the rest of the world—she just has to accept what he does for her. It's easy to accept when there's only one person making the overtures, though. Carenzo probably AU maybe one-shot, set vaguely during season six.


**A/N: I think I've just been not getting enough sassy back-and-forth in my season six viewing. Just a little fantasy thing because these guys have so much chemistry. I don't know if it'll go any further because writing Caroline is really hard for me and this was my first attempt. We'll see what happens. And, you know, if you guys think I handled them okay. But really I think a Carenzo roadtrip of indefinite length would be an awesome plotline.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TVD. L.J Smith, Kevin Williamson, I think Julie Plec and a whole bunch of other people do. I don't own "Canyon Moon", either. Andrew McMahon (or Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness) does. I just borrow things, like characters and some events and some song lyrics. **

* * *

**Burn Down the Mission, the Map's in Your Head**

For all the sunshiney nicknames she's been given, she's always been more of a black and white sort of girl. The people around her tend to make things difficult—and please note she didn't say anything about them being _simple_, because complicated and difficult are not the same thing and she can discuss the difference for hours. She'll just need some Post-It Notes, access to a library, and your undivided attention, thank you very much.

So the people around her make things more difficult than they need to be, especially the notions of right and wrong. Yes, they're caught in this sort of underworld where the concepts blur together. For example, they need to eat blood to function. She's never doing Stefan's diet because it's still murder even if it's animals he's going after. Blood that is freely given seems to be the answer, even if she has to compel and steal it. No one dies, no one is any worse for the wear or any wiser, and she doesn't desiccate into a pile of near-stone that will feed indiscriminately.

Firmly in the white column of black and white things, firmly in the right side of the great eternal debate. Everyone wins and everything is balanced. It is _not_ that difficult to figure out and surely she isn't the only one of them who can stick to this, is she?

It's starting to seem like she is.

She's the only one out of their group who can seem to manage a lot of things that should be simple.

Phone calls.

Basic respect and caring about another person/vampire/werewolf/witch.

A memory of any kind.

If anyone else were capable of noticing something that wasn't right in front of their own face, perhaps she'd have someone to go to with her latest dilemma, which doesn't fall into the 'simple', 'white', or 'okay' categories.

Like, _at all_.

She really has no idea when it became the case – again—or why it's such an insistent problem, but she's tried nearly everything she can think of as a distraction. She's been bumping her time and energy up against the Magic No-Fly Zone around Mystic Falls for so long that it doesn't count any more. She can practically think of that, brush her teeth, and plan a small town harvest festival at the same time.

(Well. She can't actually get into the small town without suffocating, this time with less vampire blood in her system, which also seems stupid because she _is_ a vampire and she's full of vampire blood. Anyway. She's mentally circled that particular forest and came back to the exact same tree, so it's going nowhere.)

Anyway, her friends with all their very difficult and ongoing problems are completely missing the obvious. It's happening to her again and she needs someone who can snap her out of it. She _can't_ fall for the morally flexible, reprehensible, dastardly, selfish guy. Not _again_. That's the last thing she needs and it seems she has a type and if she could just find one single, solitary distraction it would be very helpful. There's just none to be found.

As much as she would love to condemn the _black_ parts – the parts where he tried to drown Elena at the cabin, the sheer number of people he's killed just because he could, his absolutely rash and appalling vendettas, the way he whispers misdeeds and plots into Damon Salvatore's ear like the other man needs any help being completely evil—she can't do it. She can't totally write him off.

He sits there awkwardly when she cries about Stefan. He isn't afraid to let her cry on him and, outside of the occasional disgusting comment, he doesn't actually _do_ anything but accept her tears and support her. She wasn't supposed to hear him lay into Stefan about it, but she heard bits and pieces at least, because he's never quiet, and in some way it gave her an extra boost of strength when she stood up to her former friend.

He shows up when someone needs avenging—even if it is _Damon_. She cannot deny it would be nice to have an advocate, an avenger, a hero of some kind. A champion for her well-being. It's been a long time since she had that, and it's been buried a thousand times over by disappointment. Matt couldn't handle her transition. Their relationship was never perfect, but he gave up on her the instant she was turned—beyond her will. She was lonely and scared and Tyler left her when she needed him—constantly. It happened more than once and she let it because she thought she loved him. Yes, he faced his fair share of issues, maybe more. She tried really hard to keep him on track and build as normal a life for them as possible. He just wasn't the other half of the equation; he abandoned her more than once and she thought he was her hero for coming back when Bonnie died. (One of the times.) The path to her door was well worn before she finally told him she'd had enough heartbreak and disappointment.

Most everyone in her life has changed completely in the time she's known them. Some of it was their fault, some of it was growing up, but it hasn't given her much stability. She's tried and tried to give it to herself, but it hasn't ever worked until now.

Until _him_.

She learned over the course of Klaus' appearances and disappearances how to really count on someone. Yes, he left, but he always came back. She could count on him to be there if she _really_ needed anything. She prided herself on being strong enough to handle everything that came her way without anything more than the occasional support of a madman. Yet, the trust she had in him was very shaky because he was always so much darker than she'd ever imagined having deep feelings for. The feelings took her by surprise and, honestly, maybe they shouldn't have.

She's never going to be attracted to a _nice_ guy. She's going to be attracted to one who gets things done, apparently. She doesn't have to like what he does to the rest of the world—she just has to accept what he does for _her_.

It's easy to accept when there's only one person making the overtures, though.

She's seen him snap a neck without a care in the world, moving so fast he was a blur. He never said the words, but she thought it was possible he did it so she didn't have to. He played it off like he thought she wouldn't, and maybe she really really didn't want to, but she would have to save Stefan.

Who, let's face it, has probably been one of her bigger disappointments to date and that was just a crush on her friend. Then again, she knows Enzo avenged her there, too, because she overheard a little of what was said. Enzo did what he did to Ivy – again, not saying she approves of his methods there but he really doesn't seem to care if she does—in part because he was angry at Stefan over her.

He's so much like Damon it scares her a little; she saw Elena fall apart when Damon was gone. Everyone needs a hero and, when that hero fails, it becomes more than just disappointment. The thing is, she doesn't see Enzo failing because he has a self-preservation streak. She feels safer with him because he's just this side of crazy but he isn't really _reckless_ as far as she can tell. He likes life and he gets a lot of out of life—he doesn't want to die.

She likes the consistency that provides, or at least the opportunity for it, because she's already lost her best friend this year and as far as she can tell that's pushed her to her limit. In a lot of ways, she's lost both her best friends because Elena's all weird and memory-wiped and not really her old self. Caroline never would've thought that would be a bad look on Elena, because she felt like Damon was a constant presence of underlying debauchery, depravity, and just… ugh. He's just not a good person and she thought more than once they'd all be better off if he weren't around.

Seriously, though, she only said it a few times and she thinks she deserves some kind of gold star for that. Besides, then he wasn't and they weren't and _fine_. It's whatever.

Except Damon still kind of looks at Elena like Caroline's always wanted someone to really look at _her_. At some other point, she would've thought it was creepy-stalkery or something along those lines; she's never been short on reasons to hate that guy. Now she knows better, though, because the one thing that makes Damon redeemable instead of completely hopeless is that he has to live like he wants Elena. He definitely wants to be _around_ Elena, even with her sanitized mind and memories. He wants to be wanted and won't let go of that feeling.

Doesn't everybody want that one? It's universal, she knows it is.

That's why it was so nice when Enzo sat with her while she cried. That's why it was so nice, for him, when she saved him (even if he'd probably rather choke down vervain than say the words. His face got all 'thank you' for him without him speaking and sometimes she likes him better when he shuts up.)

They're there for each other. It's balanced and equal and… sometimes they have to do things that aren't awesome but, in spite of all that, the time when they're together is surprisingly uncluttered and free in a way she's never been before.

He's all about stuff like low pressure suggestions, British humor (he is _not_ as funny as he thinks), riling her up, and mostly… letting her be. He only sort of pushes her out of her comfort zone and she only sort of expects him to be on his best behavior. For all the times she thinks he's screwed people over or taken advantage of them, he's never really done it to her. He's only ever been there for her when she needed a friend. She doesn't know if he's had that too often in his own life; it doesn't seem like it. She likes to think she's been there for him too, somehow.

Now, though… there's nothing to be here _for_. It's an oddly empty feeling and she desperately feels like she needs something to fill her up again, make her complete, give her purpose…

Ugh. She did _not_ just think that. This is the twenty-first century. When her dad went all asshole, her mom didn't wait around for a man to make her count—she worked her way up to Sheriff.

Then again, her mom never had an Enzo, so far as she can remember.

Crap. Crap. Crapcrap_crap_.

Okay, so she never admitted to Matt she missed Enzo when she found out he was being held – thanks to Stefan the Dick. Yes, that's his official title in her head. Maybe it wasn't missing, though, so much as she hated the thought he'd never be there for her again if she let things stand. She owed it to him to be there for him when clearly no one else was on his side. She wanted to be his partner in crime.

So to speak. She doesn't really mean that. She's got a basic morality that won't let her go around sucking on innocent people or snapping necks just for the hell of it. But… as far as tracking goes, they were a great team. It was a comfortable and easy place to be, riding shotgun with him. He might be infuriating and disgusting and offensive, but… it wasn't so bad. Maybe, while they're finding things, they could find her the structure she doesn't have as a college dropout who can't go home to do her laundry because of the freaking vampire-erasing town line.

She's pretty sure he'd be up for it because he's usually up for anything. Maybe she can give him a focus that isn't quite as dark as eternal revenge.

Maybe she's the only one who can. Maybe he needs her to.

Maybe this is the start of something. She needs it to be.

* * *

It's an altogether pleasant surprise when his phone beeps with a text message from 'the fair Caroline.' She gets a look on her face when he says that.

It's the accent.

_We should leave_.

His fingers hover over the touchscreen and he can't decide what question to ask her first – if she meant to send the message to him or where they're going. Is this a day trip or a more permanent thing? Has she been smoking some kind of hallucinogen?

_Together. Now. Go where the road leads us._

The second text makes him smile. She didn't strike him as one for spontaneity. In fact, she's thought twice, dotted her i's, crossed her t's – as long as he's known her. Is it really any surprise the thought she's throwing caution to the wind turns him on a little?

He sends her the only question he can think while his head starts making plans for their impromptu getaway (things like throwing maps out windows, earning eye rolls, doing anything to get that pissy little look thrown his way when he knows damn well she's trying not to smile a little bit.)

_Who's driving?_

(She is. Of course she is. He doesn't care.)


End file.
